Quiet as a Clam
By Kelly Bakshi

One of the most useful skills a student can have is the ability to actively participate in class. While some kids are building their biceps with the number of arm raises they have in class other shy guys and quiet ladies may need some encouragement. Your child may know that they are clever, and that it is important to participate in class but when it comes time to speak they may freeze up like water in an ice tray! Symptoms of speaking paranoia include turning red, getting tongue tied or having your voice shoot up a few octaves like a bad contestant on American Idol! Here are a few tips to encourage your child to speak more frequently in class.

Reap the Benefits

Talk to your child about the reasons why they should participate in class. Students who are actively engaged in class learn more, gain leadership skills and become more confident. The rewards for being a comfortable public speaker are endless. It is a skill needed if your child hopes to run for class president, or become appointed as team captain or is assigned a class presentation. Studies show that students who participate in class while they are in middle school are more likely to take advanced level classes in high school! So, while remaining silent seems harmless it can, in fact, be quite damaging.

Practice So You Can Preach

Remember when your child learned how to ride a bike? You started him/her off with training wheels and now they are ready for a ten speed. The same idea holds true for public speaking. You should try to give your child opportunities to practice speaking for an audience they’re comfortable with before they go on stage to audition for the lead role in the school play in front of a group of scary judges. Invite your child to say a few nice things about a family member before everyone sings “Happy Birthday” to them. Challenge him or her to raise their hand at least one time in each of their classes. Ask them to volunteer to do a reading at your church. If they spend time speaking before an audience they are totally familiar with in a safe setting it will be so much easier for them to do so under higher pressure circumstances. As they build up their confidence it will feel much less overwhelming to speak up.

Preparation is Everything

A lot of people are under the impression that the best way to prepare for a speech or presentation is to memorize it. Public speaking instructors advise just the opposite! We speak every single day. We think and then we express ourselves. We never prepare a word for word sentence, memorize and then say it. We spontaneously speak our minds and our thoughts and words come naturally, they are not contrived. So, why would memorizing a talk word for word ever make us feel comfortable? In fact, when you rely on memorization it leaves greater room for flaws and increased anxiety. If under pressure, you forget a line of a memorized speech, it feels like an error. Inevitably, your nerves could get the best of you, leaving more room for even more errors.

An alternative is to simply have your child note a few key points they want to make and then speak about them naturally. There is less pressure on them and they’re likely to come across as more “real.” Their audience will feel more like they are part of a dynamic conversation rather than listeners of a droning lecturer.

This doesn’t mean that there is no work involved. Your child should put time, thought and effort into understanding the subject of their talk. They should research and take notes on their topic on pieces of scrap paper. Next, they should be arranged in an order that makes sense. Finally, encourage your child to rehearse in front of a few friends or family members out loud. Then, they can make touch ups as needed.